Consumed with Feeling Alone by Robyn Tamanaha, LMFT
There are many reasons why an individual will feel alone. Here are a few examples:
Going through a struggle or stressor that those around you don’t completely understand, which then leads you to keep your mouth shut, try to hold it together, or just recluse
Experiencing depression, which leads you to isolate because you don’t have the desire to interact and feel that others around you don’t understand your pain
Not feeling like you fit in because you feel different, which then leads you to keep to yourself even more because there isn’t common ground between you and others
Not feeling accepted, or literal rejection from others, which then leads you to think, “Well, what’s the use of trying?”
Whether you’re feeling stressed, depressed, or rejected, you may believe that you should just be alone. Add to this your negative thoughts about yourself. Your mind has probably given you an endless amount of reasons why you’re alone. The mind can be one hell of a bully sometimes. It can stir up doubt, criticism, shame, and make you feel downright undeserving.
There are many opportunities for connection with others out there who may share your experience, but what if you’ve tried and it hasn’t worked? Or maybe it did work for a short period of time, then the depression symptoms came back. Or, what if your feelings are so intense that you feel like you’re stuck in the rabbit hole? Oftentimes, individuals experiencing this feel so stuck that they’re at a loss of what else to do. Taking a closer look at your experience may be helpful.
When working with clients, I explore the client’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences from a place of curiosity so that we can find the root cause(s). Most individuals don’t want to continue feeling alone and resolving this can be a goal for therapy; however, what comes first is getting to know their experience with this emotion, how and where it came about, and how it’s continuing to be present in the individual’s life. By looking at it from a curious, nonjudgmental standpoint, many answers are unearthed.
Being either devoured by the “aloneness bully” or trying your best to just push it away and not think about it, is how this problem persists. Taking a curious and investigative stance is where healing begins.
You don’t have to do this alone. I specialize in treating bipolar disorder. If you are interested in receiving therapy with me, let’s schedule a free 15-minute phone consult.
(NOTE: This video was filmed when my office was at a previous location. I am now in Irvine, CA)
My office is located in Irvine, which is near Newport Beach, Orange, Fountain Valley, Costa Mesa, Anaheim, Huntington Beach, Mission Viejo, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Laguna Hills, Tustin, Seal Beach, and beyond. I work with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and Asian American & Pacific Islanders.
Disclaimer: This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. The topics being discussed are meant as a self-help tool for you own use. It is not psychotherapy or counseling. This information is to be used based on your own judgment. If you need to speak with a professional, you should find one local to you and contact them directly.