How to Spend Time with Your Loved One Who is Living with a Mental Illness by Robyn Tamanaha, LMFT

Loved ones of individuals living with a mental illness go through their own adjustment with the diagnosis. Some loved ones are at a loss about how to be with the individual who is living with a mental illness; and some individuals feel like their diagnosis is consistently looming over them when they’re with their loved one.

Individuals who are newly diagnosed, or recently told their loved ones about their mental illness, may wonder how the other person will react. They may experience what feels like a waiting game regarding whether their relationship with the other person will be forever altered or not, or whether the relationship will continue at all.

For loved ones, some aspects of your life and relationship will be different depending on if you are the friend, partner, or family member, and depending on how severe the individual’s symptoms are. Either way, it’s important to keep in mind that some aspects of the relationship can remain the same.

One aspect that can remain the same, and is meaningful for the individual, is quality time. They will be attuned to the quality time that evaporated after the diagnosis. Individuals living with a diagnosis spend time grieving, and longing, for the moments that they formerly had with their loved one. They may feel like they are defective or damaged goods. They might reflect on fun trips and experiences or routines and small moments that you both shared, such as watching a specific show together and talking about it or just being relaxed and goofy together. It’s the time spent when they weren’t treated as someone with a mental illness.

You don’t have to do this alone. If you are interested in receiving therapy with me, let’s schedule a free 15-minute phone consult.

My office is located in Irvine, which is near Newport Beach, Orange, Fountain Valley, Costa Mesa, Anaheim, Huntington Beach, Mission Viejo, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Laguna Hills, Tustin, Seal Beach, and beyond. I work with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and Asian American & Pacific Islanders.

Disclaimer: This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. The topics being discussed are meant as a self-help tool for you own use. It is not psychotherapy or counseling. This information is to be used based on your own judgment. If you need to speak with a professional, you should find one local to you and contact them directly.