Irritability: When it Takes on a Life of its Own by Robyn Tamanaha

Irritability is a symptom of bipolar disorder. At its most extreme, it can build and increase to anger. This process can be slow-building or quick. Some individuals make attempts to contain their anger, others release it as soon as it occurs. For individuals who make attempts to hold in their anger, it can boil to the point where the behavior that comes next matches the intensity of the anger felt.

It’s not uncommon for individuals to let out their anger by yelling at others or being snappy, hitting things, screaming to oneself, or fighting. Oftentimes, these behaviors are more catharsis-driven than intentional. The way the individual lets out their anger may have more to do with releasing the emotion than causing harm to the individuals around them.

Imagine trying to submerge a large beach ball filled with air underwater. You’ll probably have to try hard to push it down, and the more you do, the more the beach ball pushes back. At some point, you’ll get tired of pushing down, and when you finally release the beach ball it shoots up above the water into the air. This is what happens when an individual will try to suppress their anger, only to have it come out full-force in the end.

It’s okay to feel angry. Knowing how you feel and how strong you feel it is important so that you know what will come next: the behavior. It’s not uncommon for individuals to let their anger drive their behaviors. An individual may feel so angry that they take a glass cup and throw it to the ground, then they feel a release. And then they feel guilty. And then they spend a long time cleaning the floor ensuring that all the glass shards are gone and, as they’re doing this, they regret throwing the glass cup to the floor in the first place.

Because irritability is a symptom of bipolar disorder, it can be helpful to have some go to action steps in place for when you start to feel angry. This will not only help you manage your anger, but it can also decrease the amount of regretful anger outbursts.

Here’s some ideas:

  • Are you with friends or family engaging in a conversation? Consider removing yourself from the conversation for a few minutes. Sometimes other people’s chatter or statements can fuel the anger. You can nonchalantly let others know you’ll be back in a few minutes. Whether or not you return to the conversation is up to you. Listen to what you want to do, not what you think you should do for others’ sake.

  • Do you need some silence? Consider avoiding or removing yourself from an overstimulating environment. Is the location loud, has bright lights, crowded with people, is a hot temperature, or feels stuffy? Each of these types of stimulations can add to the anger you already feel.

  • Is there something that can help slow your breathing? You can play a song you like and pay attention to the beat of the music. Inhale for 4-5 beats, hold for 4-5 beats, exhale for 4-5 beats.

You don’t have to do this alone. I specialize in bipolar disorder. If you are interested in receiving therapy with me, let’s schedule a free 15-minute phone consult.

I provide video therapy. My office is located in Irvine, which is near Newport Beach, Orange, Fountain Valley, Costa Mesa, Anaheim, Huntington Beach, Mission Viejo, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Laguna Hills, Tustin, Seal Beach, and beyond. I work with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and Asian American & Pacific Islanders.

Disclaimer: This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. The topics being discussed are meant as a self-help tool for you own use. It is not psychotherapy or counseling. This information is to be used based on your own judgment. If you need to speak with a professional, you should find one local to you and contact them directly.

**IF THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY NUMBER OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT. **

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5 things I learned about video therapy during the pandemic by Robyn Tamanaha, LMFT

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5 Building Blocks to Effectively Manage Bipolar Disorder by Robyn Tamanaha, LMFT