Tips To Manage Irritability by Robyn Tamanaha, LMFT
What to do about irritability
You’re at a new restaurant getting something to eat with friends. The décor is hip and modern, but something about it is making the different types of sounds of movement in the restaurant crash into each other. Maybe it’s the lack of carpet, cushioned seats, or other furniture that would absorb the sounds. It’s summertime, and with everyone else wanting to be out, it feels like more and more people are walking in by the minute. Now, the sounds of movement are battling with the increased sounds of chatter. You’re having a hard time focusing on what your friends are saying because it’s being muffled by all these other sounds. You’re feeling annoyed. You can feel your heart rate increase and your hands become shaky. Your friends are now laughing and halfway into discussing the story you missed due to all these distractions. You’re feeling frustrated but try hard to focus. It doesn’t work. Suddenly, a child runs by, yelling, and their parent is chasing after them. Now, your whole body feels like one giant baby rattle. The outside of your body looks still, but inside has balls of energy that are shaking and trying desperately to get out. It’s official. You’re feeling irritated and could care less about what your friends are discussing.
For those living with bipolar disorder, irritability builds up very quickly and then lingers. Oftentimes, these individuals will have things that tend to make them irritable when they’re in an episode, which can be specific depending on the person. It could be sounds, different types of sounds, people, situations, the list goes on. In the scenario above, the triggers can continue to build up if they’re given the driver’s seat. Although it may feel unmanageable and as if it’s spiraling out of control, there are strategies that can be used to manage irritability.
Know your triggers
The first step to managing irritability is knowing all the things that make you irritable. Think about your most recent irritable episode, and reflect on the following:
Where were you?
What was going on around you at that time?
What bothered you in that situation?
What was it that made you want to leave?
Have a game plan
What will help you tame the irritability if it happens? Now that you know what your triggers are, think about what would be most helpful in those moments. What will help you to either remove yourself from the trigger or help your mind and body calm down? Below are some examples.
Noise: earbuds, a quiet place at the location you can go to or stepping outside.
Increased heart rate or feeling restless inside your body: deep breathing, using a mindfulness app (I recommend #selfcare and Stop, Breathe, & Think)
Specific person: can someone else be a distraction or buffer? Will there be something, such as a sports game t.v., that you can go to if needed?
Environment: Is it the place or setting that’s bothersome? Do you need to you limit your time there? Can you arrive late or leave early?
Include a supportive person
If a person you trust knows that you become irritable and may need to use one of your strategies, it will be helpful because they will not be surprised when you need to do what you need to do to manage it. This could be a family member, friend, or partner. There may be times when you can easily use the strategies on your own. Other times, it may be difficult and having a supportive person to remind you to use one of your strategies will be helpful.
Want to know more?
You don’t have to do this alone. If you are interested in receiving therapy with me, let’s schedule a free 15-minute phone consult.
My office is located in Irvine, which is near Newport Beach, Orange, Fountain Valley, Costa Mesa, Anaheim, Huntington Beach, Mission Viejo, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Laguna Hills, Tustin, Seal Beach, and beyond. I work with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and Asian American & Pacific Islanders.
Disclaimer: This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. The topics being discussed are meant as a self-help tool for you own use. It is not psychotherapy or counseling. This information is to be used based on your own judgment. If you need to speak with a professional, you should find one local to you and contact them directly.
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