What is a People Pleaser? by Robyn Tamanaha, LMFT
What is it?
People pleasers are caring, friendly, and empathetic. All of these are wonderful qualities. An individual who is a people pleaser might find it troublesome when it comes at the expense of themself or their self-care.
Do you experience these frequently?
Puts other people’s needs and feelings before their own
Goes out of their way for others
Says yes when they might want to say no
Helps or rescues others
Tries to only look happy
Apologizes a lot
Accepts blame or fault even when it’s not their fault
Takes on the responsibilities of other people
Does not want to seem ungrateful
Has a strong desire to be liked by others
Agrees easily with other people
Why does it matter?
It can lead to overwhelm and burnout
It can lead to resentment
It leaves little to no room for self-care
It can eliminate your own wants, needs, or values
Consider:
Balance: You can be there for others and yourself.
Explore: What thoughts, feelings, or needs do you have?
Envision: If you were to nurture your own thoughts, feelings, or needs, how would it enhance your life or well-being?
Consider Therapy: It’s not uncommon for there to be specific sources or experiences that influence your people pleasing behavior. A therapist can assist in nonjudgmentally exploring your experience and assist in moving forward in a way that realistically works for you and your values.
You don’t have to do this alone. If you are interested in receiving therapy with me, let’s schedule a free 15-minute phone consult.
(NOTE: The video below was filmed during an Instagram Live from my professional Instagram Page. Fast forward to 1:50 minutes in when I begin discussing this topic.)
My office is located in Irvine, which is near Newport Beach, Orange, Fountain Valley, Costa Mesa, Anaheim, Huntington Beach, Mission Viejo, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Laguna Hills, Tustin, Seal Beach, and beyond. I work with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and Asian American & Pacific Islanders.
Disclaimer: This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. The topics being discussed are meant as a self-help tool for you own use. It is not psychotherapy or counseling. This information is to be used based on your own judgment. If you need to speak with a professional, you should find one local to you and contact them directly.
**IF THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY NUMBER OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT. **