Supporting a Depressed Friend by Robyn Tamanaha, LMFT
One of the difficulties that individuals who are living with depression experience is feeling like their friends don’t understand what they’re going through. The individual’s friends make attempts to be supportive in the best way they know how, but some responses do not provide comfort or convey understanding.
Friends may demonstrate this in their verbal response to the individual who is experiencing depression, such as, “Just do this,” “Oh yeah, this one time I…,” or a lack of response, such as silence, or avoiding, such as changing the topic. All of these types of responses can leave the individual feeling more alone.
Ways to Support:
Ask questions about their experience out of curiosity, keeping an open mind that their experience could be unique.
Just listen to your friend vent.
Validate their feelings, such as “I see what you mean and could see how you would feel that way.”
Accepting their experience. Individuals living with depression tend to have to try to convince others how they’re feeling and that what they’re feeling is real, which can be very frustrating.
Spend time with them. Individuals living with depression may have experienced other people disconnecting from them.
Ask if there is anything they’d like from you as support and if there’s anything you could do to help. This is helpful because instead of making guesses about things you may think are helpful for them, the individual living with depression gets to tell you exactly what they think will help.
You don’t have to do this alone. I specialize in bipolar disorder. If you are interested in receiving therapy with me, let’s schedule a free 15-minute phone consult.
My office is located in Irvine, which is near Newport Beach, Orange, Fountain Valley, Costa Mesa, Anaheim, Huntington Beach, Mission Viejo, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Laguna Hills, Tustin, Seal Beach, and beyond. I work with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and Asian American & Pacific Islanders.
Disclaimer: This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. The topics being discussed are meant as a self-help tool for you own use. It is not psychotherapy or counseling. This information is to be used based on your own judgment. If you need to speak with a professional, you should find one local to you and contact them directly.
**IF THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY NUMBER OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT. **