How Does Talk Therapy Help If I’m Not Used to Talking About My Problems? by Robyn Tamanaha, LMFT
It’s not uncommon to feel hesitant about going to therapy. Rarely, if ever, are we called to go into a place in which we will talk with a stranger about our difficult thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
If you’re not used to discussing your struggles, then you might be even more hesitant to reach out for therapy. For some, this hesitancy is due internal factors; for others, it might be influenced by past experiences.
There could be many different reasons why an individual would be hesitant about talking about their experiences if they’re not used to it:
Unsure if what you’re experiencing warrants therapy
Grew up in a family or household where talking about emotions was not accepted
Were given messages, either directly or indirectly, that people should not “air out their dirty laundry”
Pressure from others to not show any signs of weakness
Feeling like you’d be a burden if you talked about your feelings
Not wanting to seem ungrateful
It can be difficult to reach out for therapy, especially if to do so would be going against what you’ve known thus far about how to handle your difficult thoughts and emotions. If you’re noticing that you feel distressed, then your mind and body is sending you an alert that this is something important to address. You also deserve to have a designated time and safe space to work through your experience with difficult thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Oftentimes, if it is not addressed then it will make itself known by coming out in other ways that make major areas of your life difficult, such as work, school, relationships, or whether you’re able to take care of yourself.
Benefits of therapy:
Processing: Expressing what you’ve experienced to an objective mental health professional. As therapists, we are trained to not only provide a safe holding space, but also to assist in connecting the dots among your current and past experiences with your thoughts and emotions. You will experience many different thoughts and emotions throughout the day, year, and your lifetime, and in many different situations. This is natural. It’s not uncommon for internal experiences to linger and grow if they are causing distress; nor is it uncommon for individuals to try solutions that only lead to short term relief. Therapists assist you in delving further into your experience so that you can process it, which will help provide clarify and lead to helpful change.
Discovery: It’s not uncommon for individuals to find out that there is much more to their experience than what they already know. This helps to put all of the pieces of the puzzle together, so that things make more sense. Throughout therapy, individuals also learn more about themselves, including skills and strengths that they possess.
Healing: One common goal that many individuals come to therapy for is to heal. This can be grieving the loss of a loved one, finding oneself after a breakup with a partner, decreasing the amount of panic attacks that they experience, or working through depression.
Moving Forward: Therapy does not last forever, and over time therapy decreases in frequency. A client will start out in weekly therapy, then every other week, and then attend monthly maintenance sessions up until they end therapy. It would be a disservice to keep seeing clients every week for the rest of their lives. Quality care is decreasing the frequency of sessions until the client is able to move forward with their life on their own, using the skills and strategies that they learned and practiced in therapy.
You don’t have to do this alone. If you are interested in receiving therapy with me, let’s schedule a free 15-minute phone consult.
(NOTE: This video was filmed when my office was at a previous location. I am now in Irvine, CA)
My office is located in Irvine, which is near Newport Beach, Orange, Fountain Valley, Costa Mesa, Anaheim, Huntington Beach, Mission Viejo, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Laguna Hills, Tustin, Seal Beach, and beyond. I work with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and Asian American & Pacific Islanders.
Disclaimer: This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. The topics being discussed are meant as a self-help tool for you own use. It is not psychotherapy or counseling. This information is to be used based on your own judgment. If you need to speak with a professional, you should find one local to you and contact them directly.